Deep Waters of Pain!

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So many people have dipped their feet into the ever so deep waters of pain.  Pain is that cold water that brings shock to your body which makes you want to retreat and run back to shore.
I have experience that shock numerous amount of times. I have felt those chills running through my body and no matter how much I tried to escape; it was like a tide that carried me even deeper.
I have experienced pain so many times and each time was never less painful than the first. My heart aches each time and my body shivers with the weight of it all. So many times I have prayed that I could never again experience such a thing but I have learned time after time that the pain has made me stronger. There will be a day that the Lord will replace all the pain with joy.
So many people believe that pain is something weak but in all honesty it is not. A person needs some serious strength to make it through any degree of heartache and pain. Pain teaches you to appreciate joy. Pain prepares you for your destiny, it is a necessary pathway to joy. If you allow it to open your eyes to the point when joy comes knocking at your door and embraces you in its warmth you will not turn it away. Then you will be able to smile and say that it was good that you were afflicted. For if it was not for the affliction then you would never know how to treasure such joy.
Romans 8:18 “For I reckon that the suffering of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”
If you hold on through this pain then before you know it, things will turn around for your good.

Love vs. Hate

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1 Corinthians 13:4 -7: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I think this scripture summarizes love the best. Love is a firm foundation that should not easily crumble beneath us. Love should be something automatic but yet some people would prefer to turn to hate. In the 21st Century I hear people throw around the word hate so effortless and i just don’t understand why. Why is it so easy for people to hate one another for every little thing; if someone looks different than you do then people find it a reason to hate them. If someone does you wrong the first emotion it drives in us is hatred.
I personally believe that it takes a bigger person to love someone regardless of the way they look or whatever pain the put you through. What the world needs to understand is that there is power in love; love has the ability to turn a bad situation around into something good. When someone does you wrong and you can show them that your love is bigger than what they have done to you then you shock them through them off because many people never see that coming. 
It is just too easy for people to hate one another and hold each other up in our hearts; instead we should challenge ourselves to love one another. Yes it is a challenge but puts less weight down on your heart.
Love is a bonding agent which has no limitations. Let’s use love to bind us together instead of giving into hate and allowing it to destroy us!
I have seen families divided over stupid little things that they could have solved in a different way instead of not seeing or talking to each other for years and when weddings or family engagements come along they can barely say hi to one another but instead greet each other like strangers.
Me personally I don’t understand how
people can inconvenience themselves with hatred and such anger I think it is exhausting and it just drains the life out of you. I don’t have time for that; I rather be locked up in a room with someone I am having a problem with and handle it right there and then instead of carrying something around with me in my heart for years. We settle it there and be done with it. Call it aggressive love if you may but I  prefer that to the baggage of hatred any day.
Hatred is a baggage that will weigh you down and darken you so why carry it around.  There is more to life than that!

When it comes to love “I’m STANDING”

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I personally don’t want to fall hopelessly in love; I prefer to stand in love. Many people don’t know the difference and are always puzzled when I say that. Let me take a second to break it down for you. The definition of “fall” is to move downwards without control or in other words to lose balance. No matter how pretty you try to put it “fall” is best described as losing control. Now why on earth would anyone want to be out of control when it comes to love? Falling is filled of insecurities and loneliness. When have you ever seen someone who has fallen look happy; unless they try their best to cover it up but in the end that image is shattered! Falling in love is no different the beautiful image eventually becomes shattered. There are so many cases where people have fallen in love and lose all conciousness of who they are and their self worth. I don’t know about you but I’m nobody’s personal house mate where they can walk all over me as they please.
For me I prefer to have control over my feelings I’m not going to be asking the question of “why does he treat me like this?” or  “why doesn’t he love me?”
Standing in love is a different approach it is more modern and wise. When looking at the words stand it is best described as maintaining a firm upright position. NOW THAT SOUNDS MUCH BETTER!
Standing is what I believe to be the best combination with love because when you’re standing in love there is strength and confidence. You first love yourself which in turn gives you the ability to love someone else. You are not easily fooled or walked over but you know your worth.
When it is all said and done when it comes to love I will be STANDING!

Gentlemen

Is Chivalry Really Dead? No I don’t Think so! It’s about Compromising.

Not every Man can be considered a perfect gentleman. Being a gentleman is a skill that some men perfect while others ignore. A perfect man is chivalrous and courteous; they know how to treat a woman and above all how to show respect to all. When they are faced with a certain situation that causes for unruly behavior; they know how to handle it in a exceptional manner.

When looking at chivalrous behavior we can look back in history and see that it began during Medieval Times with Knights who possessed qualities such as honor and justice. They were also expected to show courteous behavior especially toward women. The way I view things is that no matter how independent I am as a woman chivalrous habits are always a winner for me. There is just something that is so beautiful and admirable about a man who can portray such behaviors I guess it mainly has to do with the whole situation of chivalry is not common no more; there are just less and less men who display such behavior. Now when a woman meets a man we are just automatically expecting the worst behavior possible, our expectations in men as dwindled down to almost nothing but when they do behave like perfect gentlemen it is honestly surprising and leads us (women) to believe that it is because they want something.

I have over heard many woman criticize and state that they don’t want any man to do anything nice for them because it is not true to their hearts. That it is only done with hidden motives. It is sad that women already have these expectations of a bad outcome but there has been many experiences that these ladies have had to make these assumptions true. Which lead women to come to the conclusion that chivalry is dead but I look at it differently. To me chivalry is not dead but it is more uncommon because there are men out there who act like perfect gentlemen without any expectations to get anything in return.

Some habits that a number of women that I have talk to would consider to be habits of a perfect gentlemen are as follows; opening doors, sitting through girly movies, family bonding, sending flowers, and helping carry bags.

lets take a deeper looking into one of these habits  to have a better understanding of what women are talking about. When a woman talks about a man opening the doors they stated that this was one thing they wish guys still did above the rest. Whether it be the car door or just the front door to a restaurant or the movie theater women see this as such an admirable trait. Yes we women are more than capable of opening our own doors but it’s all about the effort and respect. A guy that takes the time to open the door for you just shows a different ounce of respect that he has towards you. Some women say the worst possible experience that they have had was when walking behind a man into a restaurant and he would just release the door which in turn would hit them on the shoulder, hand or in worst cases the face. Which is a horrible start to the night.

Give and take some of these habits would be nice because it is always just the simple things that matter because no woman needs to be injured on the first date because honestly guys some of these doors are heavy like a rock. It doesn’t hurt to help a woman out or to sit through a movie that she wants to watch. Let use be fair to each other; ladies watch movies they don’t want to watch so a guy should in turn do the same. It is all about compromising; we are all adults we know what the word means. Actions speak way louder than words enough with saying your a nice guy and a perfect gentleman and more acting like it.

I personally don’t think chivalry is dead because I have seen some guys perform it!

The power of addiction

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Addiction is the condition of being enslaved to a practice or habit. Addiction comes in many different forms such as; compulsive behaviors, alcohol dependence and drug dependence. Compulsive behaviors can be anything such as; shopping, gambling, exercise addiction or even video game addiction. People can become addicted to anything in the same way as they can to drugs or alcohol. Alcohol dependence is when a person takes a large amount of alcohol on a daily basis and feels like they cannot do without drinking.
Drug dependence is the dependence of a legal or illegal drug or medication.
There is such a thin line between having a good time and having an addiction that can so easily be crossed by anyone even the best of people. Even the things that we don’t recognize as an addiction can very much be our addiction. It has so much to do with our limitations if we cannot stop ourselves from doing something then it very much can be seen as our own personal addiction. There are many people out there who are addicted to something so simple as shopping. They reach the point that they can’t even walk past a store without going inside and buying something. Now with new technology they can even shop online without even leaving the convenience of their home.
Addiction has a power that everyone has had to tackle with in their lives in one way or another. Shoot in all honesty I have been addicted to fast food and shopping before. Where I couldn’t help myself I had to give in every time but I have learned to fight those demons; it wasn’t easy but it was something I knew I had to do. Whatever power addiction may have over you today know that you’re not alone and you too can also fight those inner demons.

The silent cry of a victim

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Domestic violence falls under so many different categories such as physical, sexual,  psychological, emotional and economic. The victims are not only women but also men as well.
Domestic violence is a serious issue and it really does a work on my heart whenever I hear different stories that have either experienced it or known someone that has. There are people who turn a blind I to it and feel that it will eventually go away but I’m here to tell you that you are not alone, there are many people who care about. You don’t need to live in that situation because you are worth more than that. My heart bleeds with these men and women alike that have kept silent scared of the repercussion.
Whether it be physical or just economically you don’t deserve that. Those who are going through it doesn’t be scared to talk to someone about it and make an escape plan and those who know someone who is currently facing it, don’t turn away from them. Unity we stand and divided we fall, we can come together and make a difference.

Another year filled with new experiences

Another great year has come to an end. No more writing 2014 now it is time to get us to writing 2015.  It always takes awhile before ever getting use to writing a new year, we always slip and accidentally write the previous year.
Words can not explain how blessed I feel to make it into a new beautiful year. God has been so good in 2014 and I know he will be with me throughout the new year of 2015. 2014 was a great year filled with so much good and bad but one thing for sure it was very rewarding.  Now as we prepare ourselves for whatever 2015 has in store for us , one thing we know for sure is that we will have bad days and good days but with every day there will be new experiences and with new experiences there will be new lessons and therefore new stories to share.
2015 will be all you want it to be because you are the one who makes a year special.
Happy new year everyone and I wish you all a prosperous 2015!

Christmas love

Christmas is my favorite time of year. I just love the warmth that Christmas time brings. The time when we celebrate the first gift that was given which is Jesus and in turn we spread the love to others by giving a gift to the special people in our lives.
There is just something so different about Christmas time thst is so selfless. It is one time of year when we think about others. Today i was very surprised to see a total stranger sharing a story with me about their Christmas plans and just what Christmas means to me; at the end of the conversation the person smiled and wished me a merry Christmas.
To me this was surprising because normally when people are busy shopping they are so caught up in themselves that they don’t even notice you, even if them bump into you they barely say a word to you much less have a conversation. It just goes to show how warm Christmas is that in most people it brings out the best in them. This is just another thing to add to my long  list of reasons on why i love Christmas so much.
For me Christmas has so little to do with gifts but so much to do with love. Love that we share to both family and friends;  which unites us and allows us to take the time out of our busy lives to share a special day with one another.
Thank God for the love that glows so bright at Christmas time.

There is a time to be both selfish and selfless

There is a thin line between being selfish and selfless that is so hard not to cross once or twice in our lives.
Everyone has faced the hard choice of whether to choose ourselves or other people. I honestly believe it is one of the hardest choices that a person ever has to make because in reality there are people out there who use and abuse kindness.
Being selfless is taking yourself out of the equation and showing concern for others, without any hidden benefits for ourselves. For me I have been very selfless throughout the years always helping others and bending backwards for people. There is a lesson in that though is that you have to be very careful there are selfish people out there who concern only for themselves and will use your selfless behavior as a chance to walk right over you.
Being selfish is being concerned about ourselves. Many people would think it is so wrong to be selfish which I would honestly disagree with because I believe that there is a time in our lives that we have to be selfish. We have to stop sometimes and focus on ourselves and make ourselves happy. Yes be selfish at least once a week and take time out for yourself because in reality no one will care about your own happiness as much as you will. So spend a day on yourself and look out for you and stop putting yourself on a backburner for other people all the time. Don’t get me wrong I’m not telling you to forget about helping other people because that is just wrong. I personally love helping people there is so much joy in it but all I am saying is that in all your helping don’t forget about helping yourself sometimes. Taking some “ME” time.
Remember you can’t save someone if you need saving yourself.

Less privacy; the more popularity

The more technology, is the less privacy we have. Our private lives have changed all because of new technologies. There is no such thing as privacy anymore because everyone wants to display their lives to the world. It is like our own personal way to feel famous.  The more people that few our pictures and posts over the internet equals to instant popularity. If our posts or pictures are not viewed or liked then some feel the need to delete them.
There is no longer any want for privacy in the younger generation.  The idea of privacy that we older generation once had has now seemed to disappear for the younger people coming up now.
Everything is shared on Facebook, Twitter and instagram.  Our lives have become less private as technology continues to advance.  It is now the norm to share everything with the world it sort of gives us the sense of popularity.